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22 Mar

5 lucruri neobisnuite pe care sa le faci inainte de a intra intr-o relatie

Dragile mele, nu sunt experta in relatii, insa vreau sa va impartasesc cateva lectii de viata de care m-am lovit personal de-a lungul timpului. Unele dintre ele le-am reconfirmat stand de vorba cu persoane care au trecut prin experiente similare. Ma aderesez femeilor care ma urmaresc, dar asta nu inseamna ca anumite lucruri nu se aplica si invers.

Daca esti o persoana care stie ce vrea de la viata si compromisul nu te carcaterizeaza, nu ramane decat sa-ti zic “Welcome To The Club!”.

1. Verifica-i platformele sociale. Stiu ca suna creepy, dar nu ar strica sa studiezi facebook-ul sau instagram-ul barbatului care te intereseaza. Platformele de social media au devenit un fel de CV. Este mai bine sa faci asta inainte pentru ca esti detasata, obiectivitatea fiind filtrul prin care vei privi lucrurile. Mai devreme sau mai tarziu tot o sa ajungi sa faci asta si este mai bine sa stii in ce te bagi. Altfel o sa devii o obsedata care ii verifica pagina din 2 in 2 minute.

Este adevarat, pare ca si cum ai invada proprietatea cuiva, dar credeti-ma, o mare parte din ceea ce urmareste, din ceea ce posteaza este definitoriu pentru el ca persoana. Daca peste 50% din lista lui reprezinta personaje care isi expun diverse parti anatomice ale corpului, acele parti 😊, iti vei pierde timpul daca nu te incadrezi profilului. Omul are un tipar mental in timp ce tu esti in afara acestuia. Just think about it.

Aici mai intervine o situatie, una in care sa te pacalesti singura. Ai putea considera ca, daca nu da like la pozele cu tenta sexuala totul este in regula. Totusi, de ce urmareste acel profil? Oare privitul nu este suficient si fara a fi insotit de like? Barbatii sunt dominati in primul rand de vaz, deci iti cam dai seama singura pentru ce are nevoie de aceste poze.

Aoleu… mai este una. Daca acum 5 luni posta mesaje cu “Esti iubirea vietii mele”, “You are gorgeous”, “My life would suck without you”, etc, etc, iar peste alte 2 luni are aceleasi texte dar adresate altui personaj, credeti-ma, omul nu are nimic in comun cu romantismul. ESTE INSTABIL EMOTIONAL!!! Fugiti cat va tin picioarele.

2. Dormiti o noapte impreuna.Trebuie sa stati macar o noapte in aceeasi camera, chiar daca nu faceti nimic ( ar fi de preferat sa nu, pentru ca altfel personajul si-a atins scopul ). De ce sa procedam astfel? Pentru a vedea cum sta cu igiena, poate petrece mai mult timp in oglinda decat ar trebui in mod normal sau poate are niste obiceiuri ciudate, etc. Interactionand asa puteti descoperi o multime de lucruri. Eu, de exemplu, am un fix. Aud cand se trage apa la toaleta si intru in panica daca nu aud si apa curgand la chiuveta. Mama mea m-a invatat sa ma spal pe maini de fiecare data cand folosesc toaleta. Normal, nu? Ei… daca personajul cu pricina nu face asta, va dati seama ca fix in acea secunda as deveni freak si as face cumva sa-l ghidez spre baie, poate se prinde. Daca nu… e grav. Nu ezit sa intreb direct: “Mama ta nu te-a invatat asta?”. Reactia lui poate sa va dea mai multe indicii.

3.Mergi la el acasa. Legat de punctul de mai sus, nu iti da intalnire doar la tine acasa! Prima data este mai bine sa fie pe terenul tau, dar ar trebui sa vezi si unde locuieste el. Ceea ce descoperi este important, asa vei sti daca vrei sa te implici mai mult sau nu. Am auzit de curand o poveste despre o relatie care a durat cateva luni. Locul de intalnire era intotdeauna la ea acasa, niciodata la el. Niciodata!!! Oare de ce? Pentru ca la el era usor aglomerat. In ce sens? Era insurat si in timp ce era implicat in aceasta relatie extraconjugala, sotia lui nascuse. Deci poti sa te trezesti cu aceasta surpriza, ori ca locuieste cu parintii sau locuinta lui poate fi o cocina si nu iti doresti sa te transformi in housekeeper. Cu un drum facut la el acasa iti raspunzi la multe intrebari.

4. Intreaba-l despre femeile din viata lui. Conteaza modul in care pui aceasta intrebare si felul in care stii sa asculti. Daca fiecare femeie din trecutul lui este negativ comentata, ar fi mai bine sa bati in retragere ori vei deveni una din “nenorocirile” lui. La un moment dat am discutat cu un “Domn” care isi critica de zor nevasta care l-a inselat. Evident ca am intrebat daca si el a facut acest lucru. Raspunsul? Da, a inselat. Insa el musai a tinut sa sublinieze faptul ca nu se pune pentru ca nu a fost prins. Cam asta este genul de mentalitate cu care ne luptam in zilele noastre.

5. Asculta-ti instinctul. Si ultima, dar nu cea mai putin importanta. TRUST YOUR INSTINCT!!! Aveti incredere in ceea ce simtiti. Este adevarat ca ne mai si inselam uneori, dar in mare parte se adeveresc. Daca v-ati inselat, nu va panicati. Luati-o ca pe o lectie de viata. Unele relatii sunt strict pentru asta.

 

Darlings, I’m not an relationship expert, but I want to share a couple of life lessons I came across along time. Some of I have reconfirmed by talking with people who have gone through similar experiences. This is for the women following me, but that does not mean things do not apply to men also.

If you are someone who knows what you want from life and compromise isn’t in your character, I have to tell you „Welcome To The Club”.

1.Check his social media platforms. I know it sounds creepy, but it would not hurt to check his Facebook or /and Instagram account. Social media platforms have become a kind of CV. It is better to do it before entering the relation because you’re detached, objectivity being the filter through which you look at things. Sooner or later all you’ll end up doing that and it is better to know what you’re getting yourself into. Otherwise you’ll become a freak who’ll his check page every 2 minutes.

It really seems like you are invading someone’s property, but believe me, a big part of what he follows, what he post is defining for him as a person. If over 50% of his list represents characters who expose various anatomical parts of the body, those parts, your losing time if you don’t fit the profile. The man has a mindset while you’re outside. Just think about it.

Here comes another situation, one in which you’re only fooling yourself. You might consider that, if he doesn’t like pictures of a sexual nature everything is okay. However, why he is following that profile? Does watching is not enough without being accompanied by a like? Men are dominated primarily by sight, so you kinda realize why one needs these pictures.

Ouch … there’s another one. If 5 months ago he posted messages with „You’re the love of my life”, „You are gorgeous,” „My Life Would Suck Without You”, etc, etc, and after another two months has the same text but addressed to another person, believe me, the man has nothing to do with romance. Emotionally fragile !!! Run, run, run.

2. Spend one night with him! You need to stay at least one night in the same room, even if you do nothing (it would be better not, otherwise the character has reached the goal). Why to do so? To see how it’s his hygiene, maybe they spend more time in the mirror than they should normally or has some strange habits, etc. Interacting this way you can discover a lot of things. I, for example, have a little obsession. I hear when someone flushes the toilet and I panic if I don’t hear water running in the sink. My mother taught me to wash my hands every time I use the toilet. Normal, right? Well … if the character in question doesn’t do that, you realize in that second I’d freak and somehow guide him to the bathroom. If not … it’s serious. Do not hesitate to ask directly: „Your mother taught you that?”. His reaction may give you more clues.

3.Spend some time in his house. Related to the point above, don’t meet only at your house! First it’s better to be on your territory , but you should see and where he lives. Discover what is important so that you know if you want to get more involved or not. I recently heard a story about a relationship that lasted several months. The meeting place was always at her home, never at him. Never!!! I’m wondering why? Because at his house it was a little crowded. In what sense? He was married and while he was involved in this affair, his wife gave birth. So you can wake up with this surprise, or he is living with his parents or his home may be a pigsty and you do not want to transform yourself in housekeeper. A trip to his home will answer you many questions.

4.Ask him about the women in his life. Matter how you put this question and the way you know to listen. If he comments negatively of every woman from his past, it would be better to let him go or you will become one of the „misfortunes” of. At one point I discussed a „gentleman” who criticises his wife who cheated him. Obviously I asked if he cheated also. The answer? Yes, he cheated. But he was keen to stress that it does not count because it he wasn’t caught. That’s the kind of mentality that we fight today.

5.Trust your instinct.And the last but not the least important. TRUST YOUR INSTINCT !!! Trust what you feel. It is true that we’re wrong sometimes, but mostly we’re not. If you’re wrong do not panic. Take it as a life lesson. Some relationships are strictly for that.

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5 lucruri neobisnuite pe care sa le faci inainte de a intra intr-o relatie
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www.carmennegoita.com
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2 Comments
  • Teodora

    Ce bine am ras la punctul 4! Din pacate, stiu multe persoane care aplica un astfel de standard dublu si multe din ele sunt de sex feminin :))) Nu degeaba este acea parabola cu paiul si barna din ochi.
    http://toodear.ro

    martie 23, 2016 at 1:26 PM Răspunde
  • Ruxandra

    Am savurat acest articol de la prima pana la ultima litera . Iti multumesc ca m-ai facut sa zambesc 🙂

    aprilie 7, 2016 at 9:45 PM Răspunde

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